Bangkok Phil

Random thoughts from a long-term expat teacher in Thailand.


How's the 'decorate' and the 'supervise'?

The joys of filling in customer feedback forms

Should that be ‘supervision’ or ‘supervisor’? Was I supposed to rate the actual restaurant supervisor? Was I evaluating those that do the supervising as opposed to those who are supervised? Forget it. It doesn’t matter. It makes no sense whatsoever


Renewing a UK passport in Bangkok

A fairly painless procedure

Like many bureaucratic processes in Thailand, advance preparation is key. In terms of paperwork, it's all about getting your ducks in a row so that the actual application day goes as smoothly as possible.


Back to school again!

A very enjoyable morning at a school in the heart of old Samut Prakan

Sriwittayapaknam school in Samut Prakan caters for kindergarten up to primary age students. Much of the credit for its successful English program is down to the great Richard Barrow, who has been working at this family-run school for three decades and counting. Richard invited me along to see how the school is run and to chat with many of the students. Wow! I've never come across so many confident English speakers in one place.


Thailand's 'cool season' is upon us

When 30 degrees is classed as a cold snap

It's less about the snowflakes and more about the novelty of not sweating through every layer of clothing you own.


Let's hear it for the laundry woman!

How you miss her when she's gone

The relationship with your regular laundry woman is special. She's the woman who makes sure you stroll confidently into the classroom or office with immaculate creases and a blaze of brilliant whiteness that is the envy of your colleagues.


Doing domestic travel on the cheap

Thanks to some wonderful promotions and incentives, there's never been a better time to see more of Thailand

My wife and I just spent a night at Bangkok's tallest hotel - The Baiyoke Sky. At less than a thousand baht a head for a city view room, dinner, breakfast and free cocktails, it was an absolute steal.


My perilous walk to the gym

Highlighting the ordeals that Bangkok's pedestrians go through every day

It's just a ten-minute walk from my house to the local gym. Yet even in that shortest of walks, I encounter almost every hazard, peril and obstruction that your average Bangkok pedestrian knows only too well and confronts on a daily basis.


The joys of Thai banking

Foreigners only exist to take bank staff out of their comfort zones

Most long-term expats have a love-hate relationship with Thai banks. Whether it’s opening a savings account, transferring money overseas, applying for a credit card or simply requesting a current bank statement to show proof of address, the process is rarely as smooth as it should be.


I'm not into stressful trips back home

I've travelled back to England several times in the past at the worst possible time - and I have no intention of repeating it.

"But Phil, you're retired, you have time and money. What's stopping you going back to England for a few weeks to see the family - or maybe even months" Actually, there are plenty of reasons why not.


The slow but steady demise of a suburban luxury apartment building

It all looked so nice when you moved in.

September comes and the floodwater in the soi - a soi that never floods according to the sales person - is almost waist-deep. You seriously contemplate buying a boat.


A walk along the coast (in Samut Prakan!)

Doing the Bang Pu Coastal Walk from Wat Asokoram

Living in a dusty, grimy Samut Prakan neighborhood (as I do) it's easy to forget sometimes just how close you are to the sea (The Gulf of Thailand to be exact). I had heard about the Bang Pu Coastal Walk but never been, however, in the middle of a partial lockdown and in need of some 'fresh air' and a change of scenery, I decided to give it a try. So come on the walk with me!


Embracing long-distance bus travel in Thailand

Ignore the naysayers. It was wonderful!

I've come to realise that a flight isn't always the best option to get from A to B. I thoroughly enjoyed my long-distance bus travel experiences and can't wait to do more!


Four days on Koh Samui

This is a perfect time to travel - but it's impossible to ignore the travel industry hardships

We drove down to Lamai, another beach resort popular with foreign travelers, but like its neighbor, Chaweng, the sun-loungers were stacked in piles on empty sands, the umbrellas folded away and the cafe owners gone for an extremely long lunch.


Bangkok Pat's 'Secrets of Bangkok'

At last! Some truly enjoyable travel vlogs!

Whether you're a long-term expat or the new guy in town, I urge you to check out Pat's Bangkok travel videos - because you're sure to learn something interesting along the way.


Can I come out now?

As many Thais seem to be developing lock down fatigue, am I getting left behind I wonder?

Since the Bangkok lock down was announced several weeks ago, followed by the introduction of a night-time curfew, I think I've been what the Thai government would describe as 'a model citizen'. But how many of us are there?


Up in the air (or not, as the case may be)

The stress of wrecked travel plans

If it were completely up to me, we would still be going. Cancelling at this late stage would be out of the question. When it comes to travel, I've always been a risk-taker with a foolish measure of bugger-the-consequences thrown in.


A trip down memory lane

Some random observations on what Thailand was like for an expat in the 1990's

Thailand expats always find plenty to moan about (me included!) but for those who were not around during the 90's, and for those who were and perhaps just fancy a reminisce, I put together a collection of random observations on Twitter, which many folks seemed to get a kick out of.


The Asian travel mindset

I can't get my head around trying to cram in as much as possible in a short space of time.

When I travel, be it for 7 days, 10 days or whatever, I like to base myself in one location. Be it Amsterdam, Paris or Delhi, it always takes several days to even begin to get under the skin of a city.


You WILL go to the ball

Questionable business practices in the Asian hotel industry?

Why on earth couldn't the hotel have informed us that there would be a mandatory extra charge for a New Year's Eve gala when we first inquired about a room? (they knew that New Year's Eve was one of our preferred dates).


In the footsteps of the wild boars

The Thamluang cave in Chiang Rai Province is becoming quite an attraction

My wife and I travelled up to Chiang Rai to take advantage of a bank holiday weekend. We had heard that the Thamluang Cave had become something of a major tourist attraction and 16 months after the Wild Boars were rescued, we were eager to see what Thailand had done to commemorate the successful mission, and in turn pay tribute to the heroes of the hour.


A shout out for EVA Air

Their premium economy class offering to Europe was actually very good

The secret with flying any premium economy class airline is not to set your expectations too high. Premium economy is rarely ‘business class lite'. Think of it as a halfway house between those passengers rammed into cattle class and those snoozing peacefully at the front of the aircraft.


When Asians and Westerners meet on a football pitch

A weekend football tournament provided a fascinating comparison of mindsets and attitudes

In every game involving Asian players, I was bowled over by the the cool heads, the forgiving natures and the overall sportsmanship.


Thais and their online success stories

I love hearing about these Thai netpreneurs who are kicking ass

There is a fast-growing number of young Thai entrepreneurs who are turning their backs on the nine-to-five, Monday to Friday rat race, and finding a more lucrative niche selling stuff online and of course, enjoying the less stressful lifestyle that accompanies it.


The logistical impossibility of verifying TEFL job ads

Reasons it turns into one big 'time-waster'

You can sometimes have a dozen staff members in a school admin department, one staff member will have the job of recruiting foreign teachers and the other eleven staff members won’t have the first clue which one of them it is.


Ajarn's top ten blogs

What were our top ten most-read blogs in October 2018?

What were people reading in the month of October on the Ajarn website?


Doing the northern loop

The infamous road of 1,864 curves

A four-day road trip of about 600 kilometres, starting in Chiang Mai, before journeying on to Mae La Noi, Mae Hong Son, Pai - and finishing back in Chiang Mai.


Neighborhood tourism

Let's start with a night in Yaowaraj Road - Bangkok's Chinatown!

Here's how neighborhood tourism works. You pick an area of Bangkok - preferably a suburb that you haven't ventured into for many a year - and you stay for one night in an expensive fancy hotel and amble around the area taking in any interesting cafes, parks, temples and street art, etc that might come your way. That's all there is to it.


The Thai language no one speaks

Feeling left out of Thai conversations

I found myself distracted for the rest of the evening. All I could do was repeat Frank’s mantra over and over in my head. “The Thai that’s taught by everyone and spoken by no one”


Popping my Thai football cherry

My first Thai Premier League game - and a mouth-watering clash between Chonburi FC and Suphanburi FC

I have lived in Thailand for almost three decades and I'm a huge football fan. And yet I had never been to a Thai Premier League football match. It was time to put that right.


A few days in Dalat, Vietnam

The charming city the locals call 'Petit Paris' (Little Paris)

Dalat in Vietnam felt like a journey into the unknown. I had absolutely no idea what to expect. I was really looking forward to this.


Hunting down Bangkok's street art

A pleasant way to while away a couple of hours in Bangrak

If you are looking for something different to do on a sultry Bangkok afternoon, you could do a lot worse than hunt down some of the city's street art in Bangrak (which is at the lower end of Silom Road)


The local neighborhood haircut blues

The ordeal of getting a simple gentleman's haircut

I discovered that not one but TWO vintage barber’s shops had opened almost within walking distance of my home. My Thai friends at the gym had tried both places out and each time came away with great haircuts – and at just 150 baht a pop as well.


World Cup Fever

Roll on June 14th ...... er, I think

Larger companies in Bangkok are fully aware that work is going to be severely disrupted during world cup month. Employees who normally work well past their allotted finishing time will be racing each other to the elevator to get back home for the early evening fixtures.


Glorious Grabcar!

No more Bangkok taxis refusing to turn on the meter

Most Bangkok expats have a serious love-hate relationship with the regular taxi drivers. Expats regularly post on social media about the impossibility of trying to hail taxis in the downtown areas. If it’s Friday night and it’s raining, the difficulty increases ten-fold.


Experiences with Air BnB

We're big Air BnB fans and have used the site eight times so far

We love staying in hotels and we love guest houses that serve up hearty full English breakfasts, but we love the Air BnB experience as well. It still gives me a genuine buzz to peruse the Air BnB listings in any given town or city and wonder what adventures and experiences lie ahead.


Oh no, not this again

A selection of 'eye rollers'

I haven't seen it yet but apparently there's another story doing the rounds on social media about a group of foreigners behaving inappropriately at a Thai temple. 'Oh no, not this again' I think to myself with an accompanying roll of the eyes. So just for fun - here's a selection of 'eye rollers' for you.


A long weekend in Penang

I needed to bury all the bad memories I had of the place

Penang has now become a darling of the Thai travel forums. Travellers wax lyrical about an incredible selection of restaurants, the most amazing street art and plenty of attractions to keep any adventurous husband and wife occupied for a long weekend. Yes, it was time to give Penang another chance.


What would you put in Room 101?

Three things to be banished forever.

I'm going to go for networking evenings, trendy hi-tech hotels that operate with almost zero staff and people who stand at the bar in pubs.


Need a cleaner in Bangkok?

Perhaps Beneat.co could be the answer.

Beneat.co provide some helpful guidelines before you go ahead and book a cleaner online. They recommend you use a cleaner for at least a couple of hours if you're looking to spruce up a small condo, rising to around 4-8 hours for a decent sized, two-storey house, which is what my wife and I have.


Keep your eye on those promotions

You can save yourself a small fortune

Nowadays, Thai banks are in fierce competition to attract what they call ‘prime customers'. The amount varies from bank to bank, but if you have between one and three million baht to stash away in a savings account or to invest in mutual funds, etc, there are all sorts of juicy benefits to be had.


A long weekend in Ranong

My first trip south for many a long year

Wikitravel describes Ranong City itself as "a small border city with limited tourist interest and hence still quaintly Thai. If ‘limited tourist activity' translates as the probability of meeting very few Westerners, then I'm in with bells on.


New handyman wanted

What happens when a trusted handyman cheats you!

I have long had a bitter love-hate relationship with Thai handymen. The problem is not that handymen treat your home like they would treat their own; the problem is that they do! But Khun Prasert's work - and that of his workmates - has always been first class.


Go and see Nan Province. I'm begging you.

This is the Thailand I think many of us dream about.

Our plan was to drive north from Nan City to the ‘salt village' of Boklua, spend one night in the mountains, and then continue the loop back down to Nan City to finish off with a couple of nights in the provincial capital. The trip was meticulously planned by my wife, based on Thai travel blogs and trip reports that she had read on-line


Farewell to a TEFL legend

A larger-than-life character who wore many hats

Thailand's English teaching industry is in mourning with the sad news that James Parmelee, the owner of Text and Talk Thailand, has passed away in Bangkok.


A slow day in Ayuthaya

Has the old capital suddenly become a twilight zone?

We pulled into Ayuthaya Station and it was like the grave. Where was the welcoming committee? Where were the hordes of taxi drivers pulling at our shirt-sleeves with an enthusiastic chorus of ‘where you go? where you go?'


Is Thailand dangerous?

I bet that's a common Google search term

If you gave me the choice of walking back home in the early hours of the morning in either Bangkok or a major UK city such as Birmingham or Manchester, I would choose Bangkok every time.


A day out in Suphanburi

A town that really does have an off-the-beaten-track feel

It's a comfortable 90-minute drive north from Bangkok and seemed to have plenty to offer even the most demanding day-tripper. Perhaps when you are flanked by tourism heavyweights like Ayutthaya and Kanchanaburi, it's difficult to get a look in?


The art of teacher recruitment

Take it seriously - or find someone else to manage the hiring.

It's that time of year - the busy hiring season - when I genuinely feel sorry for many Thai admin or management staff who are coerced into having to recruit foreign teachers to work at far-flung institutes for very average salaries.


Help! I need to pass an English test

The burden of being the farang miracle worker

We're approached by students who can barely string a sentence together and we've got seven days to transform them into William Shakespeare. It is, needless to say, a mission impossible.


I'm a blogger, get me outta here!

Thailand is a wealth of reality TV show potential

I've come up with some ideas for Thailand-based reality TV shows.


A week in Taipei

Had we found Bangkok's Asian 'twin town'?

The Christmas and New Year period always gives my wife and I the chance to escape Bangkok and enjoy some quality time in another Asian city. This year, we spent just over a week in Taipei, the capital of Taiwan. Here's an overview,


The cost of flying home

How much does that trip home to see the family set you back?

If you teach in Thailand and still have family living back in Europe or America that you are on speaking terms with, then the cost of the annual trip home (or however often you make it) is something that always needs to be factored into your budget.


Taking on the big boys

A foreign-owned IT company in Hua Hin that's setting the standards

Needing to buy a brand new desktop pc - as I did a couple of weeks ago - is always going to be a tough gig. First off, I made the fatal mistake of asking around for advice.


Putting Jonny right

England is still a great country to live in

Jonny is going through the Thailand honeymoon period. How long that honeymoon period lasts depends on the individual in question - but I've been through it too. "Oh my God, what an amazing country! Why had no one told me about this place before? Why would anyone want to live anywhere else?"


Locked out with Air B'n'B

Frustrations with using the popular accommodation website

It's crucial that Air B'n'B works together with the hosts to keep them constantly aware of how important it is to get the guest arrival part right.


Those memorable Bangkok concert nights

Who have I seen live in my 26 years here?

9 concerts in 26 years has been a pretty pathetic return for someone who went to gigs at least once a month back in his hometown Birmingham. But here's a rundown of the bands I've seen here live and hopefully some of the amusing anecdotes that go with them.


Tell me the whole story

I don't want to fill in the blanks

Be it a drunken tourist getting duffed up on Pattaya beach Road at midnight or a teacher who's being let go simply because he refuses to grade exams in his own time, I hate it when you only get half a story.


A cut above

Sample the Truefitt and Hill experience

At Truefitt and Hill, you're not getting just a haircut, a shave or a beard trim. The moment you walk into the shop, you're in a strangely comforting male-only domain. There's no ear-splitting rap music or over-gelled teenyboppers prancing around in low-cut skinny jeans. This is a man's world.


My struggles with the Thai language part 3

I've finally reached the dizzy heights of upper-intermediate

I've reached the stage where communicating in Thai gives me so much pleasure. And I think the more you learn and the better your range of expression becomes, so your ‘thirst for knowledge' increases.


Why I never treat Thai tradespeople like shit

It's definitely a part of being 'British'

Old habits die hard I suppose - but I'm always proud that treating tradespeople with respect and kindness is one aspect of British culture that I brought to Thailand with me - and one that I'll hopefully never give up on.


The inconvenience of convenience

The on-line services that supposedly make our lives easier - but do they?

Eventually of course, your goods ordered on-line will arrive at the very final stage of their mammoth journey - the delivery to your home address. And it's all downhill from there.


A dollar or two on the side

A look at some of those business sidelines destined for failure

You may well be a teacher who lives to stand in front of a whiteboard. You may be up half the night compiling lesson plans. But the world loves a teacher who is also something of an entrepreneurial optimist.


Seriously, I know where the airport is.

My response to the expression that always grinds my gears

I stood on Sukhumwit's congested footpath and allowed my mind to wander for a second or two. Back to the 15th September 1989 and my very first day in Thailand. How it was all so different back then.


Weather hot and humid? No sweat!

May your armpits exude sweetness until eveningtide

I'm going to offer my apologies in advance because I'm about to go all ‘metrosexual' on you. I've recently discovered an amazing Thai product called the Miracles Crystal Deo Stick and I'd like to share my discovery with the world if I may.


A Geek in Thailand

Discovering the Land of Golden Buddhas, Pad Thai and Kickboxing

What appeals to me most about the book is that it's presented in a ‘magazine style' format. You're not laboring through chapter after chapter of stuff that doesn't interest you.


Seven days in Tokyo (part 3)

The shopping neighborhoods of Harajuku and Shibuya

I had promised my wife ‘a shopping day' so today's itinerary consisted of Harajuku and Shibuya, two of Tokyo's trendiest (and busiest) shopping areas.


Seven days in Tokyo (part 2)

A day trip to Yokohama

Yokohama seemed like the perfect opportunity to explore a little more of Japan itself and get out of the big city and take a look at....er....a slightly smaller one.


Seven days in Tokyo (part 1)

Getting from Tokyo Airport, Asakusa, The Tokyo Skytree and Ueno

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting sir" said the immigration officer. I had been waiting less than four minutes. Welcome to the always super-efficient Japan. It was good to be back.


What's with the fuss about street food?

Is it really all it's cracked up to be?

What is it about Thai street food that brings tourists, travelers and even long-term Thailand expats to virtual orgasm? I would genuinely love to know why.


Let's have a good clear out

Why are Thais such serial hoarders of junk?

Even after living here for so many years, certain aspects of Thai culture still continue to fascinate me. For today's cultural topic, I've chosen the Thai inability to throw things away, to have a good sort out, to put old and unwanted items in the dustbin. Frankly, I've never seen a people who are such serial hoarders of junk.


Thailand? yes we went there last weekend

When one man's tropical paradise becomes everybody else's

I can vividly recall all the fuss and palaver that surrounded my first trip to Thailand all those years ago. My Aunt Jean – not the most traveled woman I'll admit – called me on the phone as I was packing a suitcase and reminded me to take a few bars of soap.


The joys of keeping a garden in Thailand

In short, there aren't any.

I spent an hour this morning sweeping up leaves and generally just pottering around but I've now returned to the safety of the house, sweaty, exhausted and battle-scarred.


Cycling in Ban Kra Jao

Exploring the 'Bangkok jungle' on two wobbly wheels

The Ban Kra Jao district, east of Bangkok and about a thirty-minute drive from Samut Prakarn is an area known as 'The Bangkok Jungle' - and a great favourite for cyclists, walkers and nature lovers alike.


The trip home diary

Time for the annual family visit

I'll be flying to England on September 22nd, spending five days in Birmingham before traveling to Spain to spend a week at my parent's home in rural Spain. Then it's back to England for another four days. So let's see what England and Spain have to offer - and we'll make the best of it.


The long way home

Thoughts on the annual trip back to see the family

This is the time of year when my thoughts turn to that place I called home for 26 years - good old England. Yes, it's almost time to make my annual trip back to Blighty.


An old friend revisited

A weekend at Cha'am Beach

Cha'am has never pretended to be anything else other than a no-nonsense destination for the cost-conscious weekend traveler or day-tripper.


The slow train to Ayuthaya

A day in Thailand's old capital

I'm not sure where I got the inspiration from but I had a sudden urge to take a train in Thailand - nothing too ambitious or demanding, just a stress-free couple of hours from Bangkok to somewhere else. That would do nicely.


Heads up on the 90-day reporting

The rules seems to have changed (again)

Today I did the 90-day reporting in person at my local Samut Prakarn immigration office. It seems that the rules have changed at least in terms of the number of documents you need to photocopy and submit.


Missionary position

Finding salvation on Bangkok's MRT

I told the young man I would give God some very serious thought and implored him to keep up the good work. One powerful handshake later and he disappeared into the crowd of commuters to select another victim.


A culinary gem on Bangkok's east side

Welcome to the delightful Steel Roses Restaurant and Bookshop

This is really a review for those of you who live on the east side of the city - in the Samut Prakarn / Sri Nakarin / Bearing / Onnud areas - an area that's largely devoid of mid-range restaurants with the class and ambience that Steel Roses provides.


A quiet few days in Si Racha

A small town on the Bangkok to Pattaya highway

Si Racha had a very slow-paced, small-town feel to it and I guess you either like that or you don't. I just couldn't personally imagine living there. Love the park though!


Eight Days in Korea (part three)

New Year spent in a freezing cold Seoul. But what a joy!

My wife and I recently spent eight days in Seoul, Korea over the New Year period. Here is perhaps an 'alternative' and quirky overview of all that we experienced in the city and what went in to making it one of our best trips ever.


A world of too much choice

Nowadays we definitely have too much information at our disposal

I'm convinced that we are beginning to live in an age where there is simply too much information available to us. Far too much of that information is contradictory and confusing - and when you sit down in front of your computer screen to do a few hours of ‘research' on whatever topic takes your fancy, you end up further back than when you started.


The folly of travel and doing cities by numbers

I don't know why we do it but we do

There was an uneasy silence. My wife and I just looked at each other. Two people that were about to do something that felt so wrong yet so right at the same time.


Eight days in Korea (part two)

New Year spent in a freezing cold Seoul. But what a joy!

My wife and I recently spent eight days in Seoul, Korea over the New Year period. Here is perhaps an 'alternative' and quirky overview of all that we experienced in the city and what went in to making it one of our best trips ever.


Eight days in Korea (part one)

New Year spent in a freezing cold Seoul. But what a joy!

My wife and I recently spent eight days in Seoul, Korea over the New Year period. Here is perhaps an 'alternative' and quirky overview of all that we experienced in the city and what went in to making it one of our best trips ever.


A long weekend in Chantaburi

A trip to one of Thailand's best kept secrets

About four months ago, I wrote a blog about my first ever visit to Chantaburi province but we were left with little time to explore the area, save for a small stretch of the coastline. However, we loved what we saw. We promised ourselves we would return on our own - just the two of us, the car and the open road - at the very first opportunity.


Getting to grips with Twitter

My 18 months of trying to become a Twitter God

Wow! Phil's writing a social media blog. I never envisaged writing about a topic I have never felt qualified enough to comment on - but having been active on Twitter for about eighteen months now, here are ten things that I've learned (in no particular order) about one of the world's most popular social media platforms


Beauty's only skin deep

Young, good-looking teachers don't always have the upper hand you know

If you're not a handsome, beautiful-looking teacher, you may want to look away now. The latest Twitter craze among Asian academic students is to share photos of their gorgeous new English teacher on-line and show the world how lucky they are.


My struggles with the Thai language part 2

My past four years of Thai study and how I have motivated myself

Many thanks to all the people who gave me positive feedback on part one of ‘My Struggles with the Thai Language'. It seems that a lot of other Thai learners out there have gone through similar experiences to mine. They hit what I call ‘the ceiling' and realized that it would take a tremendous effort to take their spoken Thai onto the next level.


My struggles with the Thai language part 1

For 15 years, my spoken Thai didn't get any better at all.

For the first five years here, I would say my Thai improved steadily. Both my vocabulary range and my speaking confidence increased and my listening comprehension improved a lot. I never felt the need to take any formal Thai lessons. The Bangkok streets were my classroom


Why had no one told me about Chantaburi?

It's clean and it's green. Please don't miss it.

The only time I'd ever been to Chantaburi Province was over twenty years ago, when an Indian friend (a gemstone dealer by profession) took me down there to see one of the famous open-air gemstone markets. And although it was an interesting experience at the time, walking around on a muddy scrap of land, gawping at gemstone stalls, was still the only image that came to mind whenever Chantaburi was mentioned to me - until last weekend of course, when I came away with a completely different point of view.


Living the high life

A mini-break in Khao Yai with money no object. Yeah, right.

I promised myself a no-expense-spared holiday in Khao Yai National Park. Money was to be no object. But then you remember your working class roots.


This much I know

Some of the things I've learned from life

The website of the Guardian UK newspaper runs a regular series called ‘This Much I Know'. Each week, a well-known person - perhaps a movie star or politician - gets into the hot seat and shares their thoughts on what they've learned in life. It's a selection of random musings and single-paragraph viewpoints that are nearly always fascinating to read.


Wedding day blues

The invitation card has landed

Oh no, my wife has just come home and plonked an envelope on my work-desk. It's not a bank statement and it's not junk mail (I only wish it was) One glance at the familiar scented, pink envelope tells me all I need to know. It's an invitation to a Thai wedding. And there's no way I'm getting out of it.


It's all in the training

Some companies get it right but many get it oh so wrong.

Live in Thailand for any length of time and you come to accept that customer service is either poor or just below average. That's why you want to literally jump for joy when a company really gets it right.


In search of the average Thai

Are they earning 25% of what foreign teachers earn?

Often when I'm chatting with a relatively long-term foreign teacher, the conversation will turn to money and the topic of teacher salaries. And usually the person will remark that the average teacher salary in Thailand hasn't increased for the past ten years.


Thai dilemmas

Here's the full list

I guess they are just observations on life as a foreigner in Thailand. They've given some people a laugh and many folks seem to have identified with a few of them. It's all just a bit of fun.


Weekend madness

When getting out and about in Bangkok just isn't worth it

Many years ago, I was browsing one of those Bangkok ex-pat forums and there was an interesting thread on the topic of ‘the downsides of living in Bangkok'. One of the forum members - a middle-aged wife of a business expat - chipped in with the following contribution (and for some reason I have never forgotten it)


What was the top blog?

What did the Google stats tell us?

Now that 2012 is drawing to a close, I thought it might be fun to look back over the past 12 months and find out which ajarn.com blog was read or viewed the most number of times. Actually, any excuse to analyze Google stats and you can count me in. So let's have a drum roll please.....for the ajarn.com top ten blogs.


Neighborhood watch

How do Bangkok neighborhoods differ?

I've been thinking about the five different neighborhoods I have lived in during my twenty-odd years in Bangkok. Which ones did I enjoy? Were there any neighborhoods that I particularly hated? What were the advantages and disadvantages of each community that I spent time in? Perhaps it would be interesting to draw some comparisons.


Fitness first

One middle-aged man, one mid-life crisis

I’ve never been one for New Year resolutions but I started the year 2012 by deciding to make two major changes in my life – one was to get physically fit (or certainly fitter than I am now) and the other was to considerably improve my spoken Thai. I must confess that it took me until well into April to implement the first part of my plan, but I’ve done it - I’ve finally joined a gym.


The city is theirs!

Thailand - the home of all things that bite, sting, crawl, creep or scurry.

There are many dangers awaiting the new arrival in Thailand, but never underestimate what might be under the roof or under the floorboards.


Check in at Terminal 21

Bangkok has a sparkling new shopping mall - and it's well worth a visit!

If you're based in Bangkok and you enjoy a bit of window shopping, you could do a lot worse than spend a few hours browsing around the capital's newest and most talked about shopping mall - Terminal 21 - located on the corner of Sukhumwit 19, where If memory serves me correct, a Volvo dealership used to stand.


Bring it on!

If it's going to flood, then for pete's sake get it over with

Seriously, hasn't this been the most unbelievably stressful time for everyone concerned? At the time of writing, those of us in Eastern Bangkok, have now been waiting the best part of two months to find out whether or not our homes are going to be inundated with filthy dirty floodwater. And we're still waiting.


A fishy tale

What happens when your pet fish become part of the family.

Sometimes I'm reminded what a great country Thailand is to live in, especially when I encounter a level of customer service that I would never imagine possible.


Oh I do like to be beside the seaside

A long weekend in Khao Takiab and Hua Hin

For Bangkokians looking for a few days away at a beach resort but not wishing to mess around with airport departure lounges or long train journeys, the choice generally comes down to either Pattaya or Hua Hin. Both resorts are easily reached in a few hours by car so it's a case of flip a coin, plonk an armful of clothes in the trunk and off you go.


A room with a view

From airless studio apartments to dingy guest houses

I was thinking the other day about how many different styles of accommodation or housing I have lived in during my years in Bangkok - rented houses, tiny studio apartments, dodgy neighborhoods - I didn't realize there were so many. So in chronological order, here are the places that have provided a roof over my head at some stage.


A cultural curveball

Just when you think you know most things about Thai culture

Having lived in Thailand more than twenty years, one likes to think themselves as au fait with most aspects of Thai culture, and then some innocuous situation develops and you're left wondering if you truly know the first thing about Thai culture at all.


May I see your passport?

The joys of international travel with a Thai partner

Despite the fact my wife already has three Schengen visas and three UK visas in her passport from past visits, applying for a visa to visit a new country is always stressful.


It's a lawless land

Who can you complain to in Thailand when you've been truly wronged?

This is a country where I'm convinced you have to let many incidents go and chalk them up to experience. Pursuing things ‘legally' and going down what you feel are the appropriate channels will just lead to frustration and despair. This is Thailand. It's a lawless land.


Attractive teacher wanted - must have GSOH

How difficult is the foreign teacher dating game?

In a country brimming with physically attractive people, why shouldn't a foreign teacher seek a loving, happy relationship with one of their own kind?


A day in Pattaya

How was Thailand's favorite beach resort holding up?

“Gone up-market” is always a risky expression to use where Pattaya is concerned, but that’s genuinely how I felt about area around the beach road and the sea-front. Gone were many of the tatty beer-bars I remember from yesteryear and in their place was an assortment of pricey Indian restaurants, air-conditioned shopping malls and a selection of swanky hotels.


A dream lifestyle in Thailand

Does Chiang Mai offer the perfect place to live and work? Well, live anyway

I'll put my hands up and admit I've been somewhat unkind to Chiang Mai in past blogs. On past visits, I've usually had the job of playing tour guide to my ageing parents and a couple of their friends. It's never easy to move a group of elderly folk around a sizeable Asian city without having every tout and unofficial tour operator descending on you from miles around


A chef is born again

My ham and cheese toastie days are over

I've touched the hem of Kai's garment. Or at least the handle of his wok.


How expensive has Bangkok got?

Have you noticed how much more we have to pay for things?

I’m not coming at these price differentials from the angle of an expert economist. I’m just an average Joe consumer who looks at the prices on menus and clothes tags and wonders what’s wrong with this picture.


The skytrain to nowhere

I've stumbled upon one of Bangkok's darkest secrets

Are you like me, one of those weary sky-train passengers, looking at those gleaming new BTS stations and wondering simply, when?


Yet another list of Bangkok annoyances

We all love a good moan now and again don't we?

Here’s a list of my own things that drive me crazy about living in Bangkok. Hopefully some of them you’ve never even thought about.


Thank you for calling your ISP hotline

My ISP's customer service guide to dealing with irate customers

After calling a well-known ISP's customer service number for the fifth time in a week, I was beginning to see a pattern develop with the responses.


From the planet Xerox

All hail to the mighty photocopier

Just as bad as the schools who dabble in the lower end of the photocopier market are the institutes who insist on keeping the same machine year after year - even when the repairmen are drawing lots and praying they're not the ones to get your call-out.


The Joys of Air Travel

Things I hate about flying

Do those responsible for devising the prices of food at airports actually ever go out in the real world and see what normal people pay for everyday things? Because listen - were you to leave the relative safety and comfort of the airport complex, you would see that no one in the real world pays five dollars for a tuna sandwich wrapped in cellophane.


Five days in Hong Kong and Macau

It's a tale of casinos, seasickness and egg tarts

Hong Kong has its amazing Chinese Food and Macau has its glittery casinos. As a two-center holiday break, you couldn't wish for a better combination.


The Parrot's Revenge

How one feathered friend can ruin your life

Our home is being terrorized by a parrot. No, really. We were awakened one sunny morning in August by an ear-piercing squawk, and life hasn't been quite the same since.


The big black hole

Thais and e-mailing

I have one customer – God bless her – who checks her email between 8.30 and 8.45am every morning. If you send her an e-mail at 8.46, she won’t actually read it until the following business day. Send it at 8.46 on a Friday and she’ll deal with it after the weekend. Then how long it takes her to respond is anyone’s guess.


Something's afoot

Pedestrian perils in the big mango

The whole footpath and re-paving conundrum is rather like Thailand in a microcosm. It's a kind of 'organised chaos' - the begrudging acceptance of second-class results with little or no regard for the end user. All I'm saying is surely there's someone somewhere in the this kingdom who knows how to lay a proper footpath.


Notes from a small island

reflections on a trip back to the UK

England really does seem so expensive to me now. OK you expect to pay more for goods than you would in Thailand but this time I really noticed it. I paid almost twelve pounds for four standard-size single-cone ice creams in the village of Henley-in-Arden. It’s three pounds plus for a decent sandwich in Pret-A-Manger (almost five pounds if you have a bottled fruit smoothie to go with it) but for a sheer jaw-dropping, wallet emptying experience, how about five pounds for a large cappuccino and a muffin in Starbucks?


Taxi!

The eight kinds of Bangkok taxi driver

Get those rosary beads out mind because if there's one big advantage to being picked up by the tear-arse it's that he’ll get you to that meeting on Sathorn Road in lightning quick time. It may involve running a red light or two and knocking over an old man at the Asoke intersection, but you’ll not miss a minute of that meeting. One way systems? Bus lanes? Let other motorists worry about them. I mean, it's not as if the tear-arse's personal details are actually held by anyone.


retail wars

The end of the mom and pop shop

There was an interesting letter in the Bangkok Post last week. I couldn’t work out whether the writer was personally bemoaning the demise of the friendly neighborhood Mom and Pop shop (I didn’t read it that carefully) but he made the point that it isn’t the supermarket giant that is killing the Mom and Pop trade, but the 7-11 convenience stores, which seem to sprout up on every street corner in Bangkok these days.


Homesickness of sorts

40 things I miss about life in England

Just off the top of my head - and I suppose I could have thought of a lot more - but here are forty things I miss about life back in the old country.


Things ain't what they seem

the Thai world of misleading advertising

If I could give out an award for the worst offender, then let’s engrave the name of Swensens ice-cream parlours on the trophy right now. The vast gulf between the photographs on the menu and the stark reality of what gets delivered to your table is almost beyond words. That’s not to say Swensens ice-cream products are not enjoyable; they’re just always a huge disappointment.


Life on the ocean wave

Getting out and about on the mighty Bangkok rivers

As both a non-swimmer and someone who listens to far too many stories of people falling into polluted Bangkok waters, I've made avoiding boat travel one of my missions in life. Perhaps it was time to conquer the fears that had built up inside me for so long.


chatting with the natives

How long you ever go Thailand before?

I think it's a terrific idea to send students out as part of a class project and get them comfortable with talking to foreigners. But why not ask questions worth asking?


Bah humbug

spending Christmas in Thailand

I think teachers are divided into two camps at this time of year. Those who say 'bah humbug' and continue working as usual, and those who make a token effort to recreate the festive spirit in the comfort of their apartments - as difficult as that may be. Some might even be lucky enough to find the time and the money to escape to the beach for a few days. After years of treating December 25th as 'just another day' I now find myself with a house and a wife and I do everything possible to recreate some of the memories from those childhood Christmasses.


Apartment-hunting

Looking for digs and the hell of the lower Sukhumwit

I'd been all over the internet in an attempt to compile a list of suitable locations. Some websites I even got redirected to three times. It's amazing how difficult it is to locate independent websites amid the jungle of real estate portals and listings of serviced apartments way over my budget. It's even more difficult to find somewhere that will rent for just a month.


Back in civilisation

A trip to New Zealand

Although there were many things I adored about New Zealand, I was glad to get back. You miss the 'cheekiness' of Thailand. You miss the 'lawlessness' and the twinkle in its eye - however much they get you down at times.


A break from Thailand

It's always nice to get out of Thailand for a short while

I like to get out of Thailand once a year. Perhaps you can have too much of a good thing I really don't know. Mini-breaks in Chiang Mai and Hua Hin are all well and good but they are still Thailand. The same heat and humidity. The same language barriers. The same dishes on every menu.


A load of bankers

battling the Thai banking service

My first problem lies with banks who don't display their signage in English - which is most of them. I hate the sinking feeling of walking into a Thai bank and just not knowing where to go or who to ask for help. You find yourself just standing there with a look of helplessness and hoping one of the staff will stop shuffling papers for a moment and take pity on you.


In the pink

It's annual health check-up time

There's nothing nicer than spending most of the day at a Thai hospital being poked and prodded by a selection of Thai doctors. No, really.


Seen one you've seen them all

Let's hear it for the Thai provincial town

It doesn't matter whether you're in downtown Chonburi or in the centre of Ubon Ratchathani, you can always bank on seeing this list of twenty.


The Rose of the North

A short break in Thailand's second city

Chiang Mai is officially one of Asia's most comfortable cities to live in with its relatively clean air, an abundance of good restaurants and helpful friendly locals, but the way you are pestered by vehicle owners from the moment you land at the airport is not one of its more attractive features. Even a gentle stroll down one of Chiang Mai's main roads becomes an endurance test as you find yourself saying 'no thanks' to the tenth taxi driver in as many minutes.


Planning a trip

Scouring the internet and guide-books for the ultimate travel experience.

All I need is a decent hotel for a few days and a plan on how to while away the dalight hours. Is that too much to ask?


VIPs and webcams

A few comments on VIP visitors...and shopping for webcams

I ventured into the Seri Center shopping mall on Phattanakarn Road yesterday in search of a webcam, so I can wave at my mom on-line and she can actually watch me type out words instead of just reading them as they appear on the screen (isn't technology wonderful?) The Seri Center is possibly Bangkok's worst shopping mall experience.


Office blocks and Starbuckian

If you can't get into the elevator there's always a Starbucks

I think the menu board refers to a large-sized coffee cup as 'tall' or 'grande' or something equally pretentious. I refuse to get drawn into using that strange 'Starbuckian' language. The words small, medium, and large have served us well for centuries and if I'm the last man defending them then so be it.


May I look in your bag sir?

McDonalds cafes and MRT security

Don't ask me how these two got mixed up together either.


A restaurant and an ancient village

A place to eat and a place to visit

This week I went to the Ancient Village in Samut Prakarn and had a meal at the Great American Rib on Sukhumwit. You have no idea the kind of exciting life I lead.


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