Ten of the best

Give us your top ten of any Thailand TEFL-related topic

Ten job ad expressions that always raise eyebrows
One of our teachers has had to suddenly return to the UK.
The teacher usually gets two days off a week.
Some weekend work might be required.
Send your resume and original documents.
We are looking for a teacher who has a teaching licence.
We require all our teaching staff to have a TOEFL.
The school is located just two hours from beaches and beautiful waterfalls.
The cost of living is lower than anywhere else in Thailand.
Although the salary is low, there are numerous opportunities to teach private students.
Come and work at one of the most famous schools in Thailand.

The ten most common questions / comments sent to ajarn.com
Am I too old to teach?
Will I find work without a degree?
Do I need a TEFL certificate?
What visa should I arrive on?
Do I need to show proof of an onward ticket?
Can I live on 30,000 baht a month?
I can't understand Thailand's visa system?
What's the best border point for a visa run?
My employer is refusing to give me severance pay.
Can you find me a job?

Ten Bangkok companies that do corporate training
Reuters
Bangkok Bank
Pfizer
Dow Chemicals
Tesco Lotus
Standard Chartered Bank
Esso
Amadeus
GlaxoSmithKline
Berli Jucker

Ten things that make teachers fume
Late pay.
Textbooks not arriving in time for the start of a course.
Students not doing homework.
Being told about a sports day or school event the day before it happens.
Broken photocopier.
Dry whiteboard markers.
An empty kettle in the teachers room.
Students cancelling classes at the last minute.
Being paraded in front of parents or visiting dignitaries.
Having to work on Christmas Day.

Ten places that sound like quite nice places to work in
Chiang Rai
Hua Hin
Krabi
Lampang
Nong Khai
Phitsanaloke
Sukhothai
Udon Thani
Kanchanaburi
Loei

Ten places that don't
Pattaya
Chonburi
Nakhon Si Thammarat
Yala
Narathiwat
Mukdahan
Roi-et
Petchabun
Samut Prakarn
Samut Songkram

Ten of the most common Thai student mistakes
I go to shopping.
I have ever been to Singapore.
Every Thai people like the beach.
I spend the time one and a half hours to get to work.
I went to Pattaya and lived in a nice hotel.
He gets to work at 8.00am (when they're talking about a female)
She gets to work at 8.00am (when it's a male)
I stayed at the house of my friend.
My father has a business about sell car-parts.
It have many cars on the roads in Bangkok.

Ten titles that people (and companies) use instead of the word 'teacher'
Consultant
Visiting consultant
Language facilitator
Communication expert
Language trainer
In-house trainer
Ajarn
Khroo
Language educator
English coach

Ten myths about teaching and living in Thailand
You'll be earning four times the salary of a local.
Teachers are held in high regard by everyone.
Thais must be among the easiest students to teach.
Teaching is the only job foreigners can get.
You can comfortably live on 25K a month.
You can order a wonderful plate of Thai food for the equivalent of a dollar.
The cost of living is significantly cheaper in Chiang Mai than it is in Bangkok.
You can find work as a full-time corporate trainer.
Foreigners aren't welcome here.
Schools will know all about the visa / work permit regulations.

10 Problems With My Provincial Government Matayom Classroom
Somebody painted the chalk board with gloss paint making it impossible to write on.
The fan squeaks incessantly.
The windows don't open properly...nor do they close properly.
There's a small puddle of piss oozing out of the front wall from the direction of the boys toilet.
There's a microphone/speaker system locked in a box...but nobody can find the key to it...
Which doesn't matter as the microphones have horrible loose connections which result in me giving up and going back to shouting.
Some clever clogs has pulled the projector screen down too far meaning that it won't spring up, and blocks most of the board and has to be rolled up and balanced on the top ridge of the board...inevitably falling down every 10 minutes.
A fluorescent bulb has started flickering, and won't be changed until the end of semester.
The AUA installed air conditioners don't work and won't be repaired as AUA have moved to pastures new.
The desks have just been painted to cover the graffitti, but already there is a large cartoon depiction of a sex act scrawled in liquid paper on one of them.

10 very common questions/answers to matayom students (government schools)
I want you to do this as homework, and bring in tomorrow!
Write this down with a pen! ‘Then borrow one!"
Please be quiet! QUIET NOW!
Where is your homework? "Tomorrow is today and yesterday today will not be tomorrow!"
Do you understand? No! Do you want 20 baht? Oh! You understand that?
No, answer in English! No! Lao is not English!
Yes! You are beautiful! And so is he!
Get off that telephone now! SHE IS ONLY OVER THERE!
Where's that music coming from? AND WHY ARE YOU ALL LINKED YOU TOGETHER WITH EARPIECES?
Where are the other students? What do you mean gone home? ‘bored'? Its only 10am?


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