ภาษาไทย

Tom Tuohy

Self improvement in Thailand

The sabaii sabaii problem

28th March 2010

If you haven't already noticed it, you will sooner or later. It creeps up on you like a shadow at the end of the day. What am I talking about? I'm talking about the sabaii sabaii dynamic in Thailand which doesn't encourage you to do anything meaningful with your life; a dynamic that says it's better to "go with the flow", "bend with the breeze', and observe the status quo - all aspects that are uniquely Thai. Of course, for a good while, this way of life will not only satisfy you, but will make you think about the horrible rainy days you left behind in London, the oppressive heat and drought of Brisbane, the cold damp skies of Berlin, or depending on where you're from, the negative things you left behind. You'll be captivated by the friendliness and charm of the Thais, the easy no fuss aspect of their natures, the ease with which you can get away to a beach, a club, a golf course or whatever is your poison all at a minute's notice.

Perhaps it's me, but at some point several years ago, I realised that the sabaii sabaii thing wasn't working for me any more, and I was stuck in something of a rut, both personally and professionally. I was in a relationship with an English girl that didn't appear to be going anywhere, and I was in a job that required me to go through the usual hoops of teaching, going on the occasional team-building exercise or open day, or taking part in typical extracurricular or pastoral activities, but I wasn't really satisfied and didn't really feel that I was improving myself in any way. In short, I was bored and wanted something that would lift me out of the doldrums.

Making changes

I managed to get out of the 3-and-half year relationship, but still I felt that something was missing. I was, like so many long-term teachers and general expats that stay here for a while, who try to learn the local lingo and succeed, to some degree, in turning their back on the culture that they were brought up in.

The problem with doing this in Thailand though, as most expats will already know, is that it's very easy to vegetate in Thailand, as Thai people, lovely and friendly as most of them are, don't really go in much for self reflection or professional development. The most common practice for the average Thai is to find a little niche somewhere and pretty much stay there till they can't anymore. There is very little emphasis in Thai culture to push yourself as the "mai pen rai" dynamic pretty much rules the waves, and the culture is steeped in phrases that promote harmony, relaxation, and living a stress-free existence.

There's nothing inherently wrong with the sabaii sabaii lifestyle, but after a while it starts to grind you down, and the minutes become hours, the days turn into weeks, the weeks into months and, before long, you realise that a whole chunk of your life has disappeared before your eyes and you can only look back and wonder where it went. Like John Lennon famously said - "Life is what happens when you're making other plans."

Unsurprisingly, as I said, I got caught up in this dynamic myself and, after a while, yearned for something that would stimulate the old brain cells, the grey matter which seemed to be decaying rapidly. I tended to find myself seeking out likeminded people who wanted to talk about intellectual topics like the three you're supposed to avoid in Thailand, what I have called the "Trinity of Untouchable" - the monarchy, the government, and Buddhism. I wanted also to be able to talk about literature, philosophy, good books, food, politics, new discoveries in science, anything that had some depth to it and was therefore interesting enough to make me think. I wanted feel alive again, and discussing topics that forced me to evaluate and be critical about the world I lived in again, seemed very attractive.

Re-educating yourself

Great though it was to connect with people on an intellectual level, I still felt that I was stagnating intellectually, and so I decided to bite the bullet and look around for a study program that would get me thinking again about topics that have some depth to them. Consequently, I enrolled on an MA Writing program via distance learning at an Aussie uni called Swinburne University of Technology. There I met a lot of people who were interested in talking about similarly highbrow topics, and my intellectual as well as spiritual awakening began.

From there I gravitated to some other postgraduate programs in Australia like one in Project Management, Leadership and Communication, and Entrepreneurship, and finally to a PhD Writing program that is almost complete. The fact is that something needs to be done when you have reached this stage although it doesn't need to be as radical as my experience. Even just taking up a hobby like sailing or collecting beer mats is a good thing, (although the Aussie woman arrested in a bar in Phuket for trying to take a beer mat home as a souvenir, may disagree with me!), anything that gets you out of your slumber, your comfort zone, and helps you find a hinterland.

I chose education because that is something that I am involved in professionally, and it is quite appropriate given that Thailand is going through its Second Educational Reforms which means, as a country, it's trying to promote a system of lifelong learning for all its citizens.

So, my advice to all those expats out there who've been in the kingdom for a few years and are already in (or nearing) that phase (which is like a kind of cultural jetlag) is to begin by taking one small step at a time. When you come home for example, don't do what 95% of expat men do in Thailand and head for the fridge for a cold beer. Pick up your mobile and call a friend for a game of tennis or a similar sport. Instead of turning on the TV, read a book or go out for a walk in the early evening. Find something that is a change to your routine, something that challenges you in some way, and I promise you, you'll feel much better for it.

Tom Tuohy is a teacher and writer. He writes for a number of newspapers, magazines and websites including: The Guardian Weekly, the EL Gazette, jobs.ac.uk, The Bangkok Post, and UniversityWorldNews.com You can access Tom's blog here.

Tags: living in thailand living in bangkok degrees online degrees things to do in thailand self improvement leisure activities

Comments

Hi Tom,

I have read this blog several months ago and I agree to some points that you have highlighted.

You stated that, “It’s very easy to vegetate in Thailand”, in which we have the same opinion in this observation as I have experienced myself joining the bandwagon of the “sabai sabai “dynamic during the first year of my stay. Fortunately, I was able to get out of the mesh with some suggestions from people with the same experience.

When the “sabai sabai” enchantment has lost its charm, you will find yourself at the brink of insanity (overstated). It’s like waking up after a long reverie where everything seems to be in perfect harmony and ooops, when reality strikes, you can’t easily accept the fact that the truth is a bedlam. Everything is superficially covered with goodness that it will take a moment to notice its evil form.

But what can a foreigner do? We cannot whine much as it is their culture and not ours. It’s embedded in their system, inculcated in their minds. What we can do best is to apply what Stephen Covey has taught us in his book. If the “sabai sabai” dynamic is eating and wearing you out, there are myriad of constructive activities that will quench your thirst for knowledge. There are always a lot of things to do than to succumb to the maddening flow of the sabai sabai dynamic. It highly depends on every individual’s inclination on what he’d like to do to address this issue.

Others will sarcastically tell you to pack your things and go straight home to your motherland where there is no culture struggle on your part. But for me, I’ll say, pack your things and head to a destination somewhere in Thailand or to its neighboring countries to have a breath of fresh air and gain new ideas from the experience. Learning is not only achieved in discussing/ tackling thought provoking issues but can be acquired through traveling, too.

I pack my things not to go homeward but rather I take advantage of the numerous Thai holidays to never miss a chance to be onboard( usually air promo tickets), take a bus or just walk for hours to discover new things. I also indulge myself in some activities like photography and exploited my gadgets to learn new things. After doing the rounds, I’m back at the arena with a new perspective.
You have positively overcome the downside of “sabai sabai” by engaging yourself in pursuing a higher education. I’d like to do that also but not a priority for the moment but definitely I’m going towards that direction.

It is really a choice if you let yourself vegetate or not in Thailand. We might like their culture or not but the bottom line is, it is their own.

We cannot do anything about their culture but at least we can do something for ourselves to perk up our intellects and make our lives more exciting.

Cheers!

By nadine on 2010-05-26

Chemalyn,

you seem intent on hogging the limelight. Guess you got bored trying to make noises on Steve Schercher’s blog eh and so now you’ve decided to see if you can get a reaction from me. Is that it?

I suggest you read the other posts, especially the one to James where I say, among other things, that we have a lot to learn from the Thais about how to relax and take the time to enjoy life, so I don’t believe that what I’ve portrayed in my article is “totally a shallow glimpse about how people (some thai (sic) and some farangs) should live their lives.“

Here’s what I said:

“I feel I should clarify a point here: I’m not suggesting that Thais are lazy or unmotivated; that they have no desire to better their lot or that of their children. I just believe that they have a different ontological persuasion, a different orientation through life’s cultural conundrum, and that they have a unique way of expending their energy when compared to, say, us farangs.

In many ways, I think it can be seen in a positive light as Thais make much more of an effort to get “quality time” or what the Americans like to call “down time “than us farangs, especially where that relates to the family and close friends and to their immediate community.

In effect they do something that we westerners often fail to do - they “take the time to smell the roses”. In that sense, they are probably much wiser than us and maybe even get more out of life because of it instead of being e.g. someone like me who is often running around like a headless chicken looking for something that never arrives, like Beckett’s Godot in “Waiting for Godot”!“

Did you even read any of the other posts? It doesn’t look like it. And since you are a Filipino, what makes you think you have the right to defend the lifestyle of Thai people?

I am not making any further responses to you as you are clearly out to cause trouble and, not content with being refused the opportunity to become an Ajarn blogger (due to your poor command of English), and having your last posts on the other blog deleted by Phil, you are now trying to peddle your vitriol here.

Tom

By Tom Tuohy, Riyadh on 2010-05-14

It’s a real pity to read about your observation or experience in Thailand and simply conclude “I’m talking about the sabaii sabaii dynamic in Thailand which doesn’t encourage you to do anything meaningful with your life”. Surely, sabaii-sabaii won’t give a meaningful life to those who are identified with their ego alone. Sadly, They are the kind of people who don’t understand the essence of real life and therefore, always on the run and tend to get bored when their minds stop feeding them information. Because their lives are identified with those trivial things.

Living with your Life is not all about earning some education degrees (as what you’ve proudly chronicled in your article). On your deathbed, I don’t believe you would ask someone to bring all your diplomas to you and discuss anything you have achieved in life.

What you’ve portrayed in your article is totally a shallow glimpse about how people (some thai and some farangs) should live their lives.

By the way, did you make a thorough survey and found out that “95% of expat men (do in Thailand and) head for the fridge for a cold beer”?

I have met lots of farang men who never spent so much time drinking beer, but doing something worthwhile or meaningful in their sabaii-sabaii lives here in Thailand. They are more happier than your life being described in your article.

By Chemalyn.Zambrano, Bangkok, Thailand on 2010-05-13

Hi JD,

despite your strident tone (and I usually don’t reply to messages like that) I feel a need to answer you.

Actually, I think your wrong that 95% of men in other countries head for the fridge when they get home from work.

There’s something about the humidity and the general climate here that lures you to the fridge. That and the cultural habit of eating out which the Thais have more than say, other nationalities brings about a relaxed ambiance where it is just easier to open a bottle of beer.

I never used to drink till the evenings when I was in the UK and even then a lot more moderately than I do here.

It may well be because of the price which is considerably lower here (unless you have a penchant for imported beers).

Personally, as I said, I think it’s the climate, the al fresco nature of Thai cultural norms, and also the sabaii sabaii attitude that I mentioned before.

Maximising your free time is a Thai trait that most westerners, while living here, will adopt sooner rather than later IMHO.

Tom

By Tom Tuohy, Bangkok on 2010-04-19

Yeah, well said Aitch,

‘Yes, Thais love their cars and other material possessions like everyone else, but this doesn’t seem to get in the way of them taking life one day at a time and enjoying the ‘living experience’.‘

I agree and they are past masters at maximising their downtime. We westerners could definitely learn a thing or two about relaxation from Thais.

Tom

By Tom Tuohy, Bangkok on 2010-04-19

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