Seen one you’ve seen them all

Here are twenty aspects that go together to make up any decent Thai provincial town. It doesn’t matter whether you are in Nakhorn Sii Thammarat or Nakhon Pathom, you can always enjoy the following

1) A temple that’s falling to bits and over-run by stray dogs.
2) A 7-11 which is virtually next door to another minimart that has exactly the same color scheme as a 7-11 but isn’t one.
3) A green sign that says ‘waterfall 10kms’ and points up to the sky.
4) A place where female university students can buy stationery and little purses to keeop their spare coins in.
5) Some sort of filthy engineering workshop where the three Thai gentlemen gathered on the footpath clearly enjoy hammering things.
6) A pub with a buffalo skull above the door and a fence made entirely of wagon wheels that hasn’t opened for about 7 years but has forty empty beer crates outside.
7) A Honda dealer
8) A solitary ATM machine belonging to some obscure Thai bank and located in the hottest three square metres in Thailand.
9) Another Honda dealer
10) A mini-roundabout with a myriad of freshly planted blooms because next month there’s going to be an exhibition in the vicinity.
11) A photocopying shop that looks about as unwelcoming as any retail business could ever be.
12) A place that specializes in auto accessories, but today has a table of over-ripe bananas at 10 baht a bunch out front.
13) A water fountain that’s been lovingly installed by the local authority but only serves to make you wonder who’s had their mouth around the tap.
14) A clearly well-funded museum that has photos of old shipwrecks and display cases of 17th century underpants.
15) A line of of six samlor drivers all snoozing in the midday sun.
16) A furniture shop that’s a mecca for lovers of grey chipboard and things on wheels.
17) A music shop blasting out a medley of 70’s disco classics through a pair of giant speakers with all the acoustics of a Coke tin.
18) A huge poster of a smiling politician wearing one of those cheap white nylon jackets.
19) A sign that says ‘toursit atraction’ and leads to number 14.
20) A pot-holed, gravelly clearing of land which you find out upon further inspection is actually the bus station.