Attractive teacher wanted - must have GSOH
How difficult is the foreign teacher dating game?
This is not so much a blog as a friendly teacher helpline. I recently received the following e-mail from a lady called Sarah.
I am single and in my thirties. I will be moving to Bangkok in August 2011 to work as a teacher in an international school. I would like to meet other single foreign men (teachers would be great!) and date while i'm there. I did live in Bangkok for 2 years (2002-2004) but during that time I was in a relationship so I did not experience the single life. I am just wondering if I should prepare myself for a lonely two-three years. Any advice?
I don't get sackloads of communication on this topic, but you do wonder just how many teachers are out there looking for love among their own kind in a country that's world-famous for......*cough*.........initiating relationships with local people.
Several months ago, I got an e-mail from a teacher who was thinking of starting up a dating website aimed purely at foreign teachers looking for relationships with other foreign teachers in Thailand. So at least one budding entrepreneur recognized the problem existed and saw a potentially lucrative gap in the dating site market. I'll confess I wasn't really sold on the idea but it would certainly make a refreshing change from browsing through the gazillions of Thai dating sites with pages of grainy photographs of overpowdered gold-diggers all describing their English as 'minimal' and looking for a foreign man with a good heart between the age of twenty and ninety.
This whole topic of relationships comes up regularly on the ajarn discussion forum. Although I'm no Dr Ruth where dating and mating are concerned, I always get the impression many of the guys who post their thoughts are still nursing the battle scars of failed relationships back in their homeland. Relationships between a foreign man and a Thai woman might not be perfect, but they are often uncomplicated. And for many men that's good enough. But perhaps there are significant numbers of single male teachers out there who are tired of dating outside their own culture and want something a bit more challenging? Perhaps the opportunity to take a partner to a movie and then afterwards over coffee, discuss the director's use of camera angle and primary color - instead of asking whether the film was good or not, getting a one-word answer, and then continuing the taxi journey in silence.
But let's go back to Sarah and her e-mail. Sarah's been here before. She knows the ropes. She knows what it's like to live in a city where at times the entire foreign male population seems to be chasing Thai tail. And let's face it - even for those with the personality and appearance of a swamp donkey, Thai companionship is never too difficult to find.
The question is how is Sarah going to connect with like-minded foreign teachers for a few rounds of the dating game? There will no doubt be plenty of opportunity for raucous girly nights out with female teaching colleagues but too many of those can wear anyone down? Eventually one craves for a special night out with that one special person. Just the two of you in a romantic restaurant, gazing into each other's eyes and waiting patiently for your main courses to arrive. And then after a fine meal and several glasses of extortionately priced wine, one of you whispers "your one-bedroom studio or mine?" The perfect end to a perfect evening.
Seriously though, what advice do you have for Sarah? Is she worrying too much? Anyone with experience of playing the farang dating game? Give us your thoughts and comments.
Comments
Niels—i thought the site was based for only Anglo saxons ? Or that was my impression..
By Kanadian, Jiangxi, China on 2011-02-14
Re Tim; Simply have them complete brief bios, complete with e-mail and phone number. If they want to activate their post, they have to confirm their info via phone, which would make it fairly simple to determine if they were a teacher and of what nationality, ex. Brits can identify their countrymen over the phone in 2.4 seconds, as could most any knowledgeable well traveled person/teacher…If a few well educated and fluent, well travelled Thais enter, that’s ok, no need to be as exclusive and xenophobic as some Thais have been known to be.
By Niels, Bangkok on 2011-02-13
I’d say your friend Sarah is pretty much in the wrong place for finding a Western guy. Of course, there are tons of Western guys here in Thailand, but if I were a woman, any woman from any hemisphere, my guess is that they find the pickings to be very slim with regard to good catches.
Western guys come to Thailand to party and live fantasies they can never have at home. Maybe this isn’t true for teachers, but the appeal and lure is there, even for them. If a guy wanted a Western girl for his fantasy, he’d go to a European country or America (if looking for verbal abuse only).
To answer the real question: what can Sarah do here to find a match? She could join one of the dating websites, like Tagged, and work if from there. Anything is possible.
By John, Bangkok on 2011-01-24
so true.. but I still think it would be a good idea. Most foreign men after sometime with a Thai blood sucker get bored of the BS.
By Kanadian, jianxgi China on 2011-01-22
There are many reasons why western men flock to Thailand but one is definitely not to date western female teachers
By Tom, Bangkok on 2011-01-17