| Q |
Thanks for baring your
soul Duncan in what is sure to be a very candid interview. You do realize
that there might be people out there who view you as a whore-chasing
alcoholic? |
| A |
I'm a teacher who likes a drink and who likes the
company of a Thai female. If people want to put labels on me then so be it,
but I'm certainly not ashamed. There are plenty of us around. I bet that 50%
of the self-righteous pricks on your discussion board Phil, dabble now and
again in the murky world of paid sex. If they don't pay for it in hard cash,
then they probably pay for it emotionally.
I think that my story is similar to a lot of others. I came here in about
1995 for a holiday with a couple of good mates. We had a week in Bangkok,
which was fantastic, and then had three weeks down in Pattaya, which was
even better. I'd made up my mind before we got to Pattaya that Thailand was
where I wanted to be. I'm an engineer by trade, and although I did have a
good look around for any openings in my own field, I didn't have much luck,
so teaching has been the answer. |
| Q |
Let's take the
drinking first. Doesn't it seriously affect your performance in the
classroom? |
| A |
As I said, I do like a drink but I would never let it
affect what I do in the classroom. I have a good skinful at the weekend
(Friday and Saturday) but on a school-day night I'll make do with 2-3 large
bottles. I can drink that kind of amount and get up for work at 7.00am no
problems at all. There are times when you fancy a little tot at lunchtime
but the school I work at is pretty isolated and there are no good places to
go away from prying eyes. It wouldn't be good if a student copped you with a
beer at lunchtime. I did go through a stage of sneaking a little hip-flask
into school and enjoying a little snifter with my morning coffee. Problem
now is that I keep forgetting to fill up the flask. Hahaha.
I'll sometimes pop into the 7-11 for my smokes on the way to work and see
all those Bacardi Breezers and that kind of stuff. It's tempting but once
you start drinking in the morning, it's the downward spiral. |
| Q |
And then there's the women. Temptations
all around? |
| A |
I can never sort it out in my head which one I could
never give up - women or beer? As far as the fillies are concerned, it's
like I'm in this permanent Garden of Eden. Every time a student asks me to
give her private lessons or something like help her with homework, all sorts
of terrible thoughts go through my head - situations, scenarios. I'm as
randy as the next man. Show me a guy who doesn't get these thoughts and I'll
show you a liar. But seriously, I do keep the teaching work and the romance
separate. |
| Q |
Do you ever date students? |
| A |
No, I would never date students at where I work. Not
while they are enrolled in a course I'm teaching. That would be a bloody
nightmare. I've knocked about with a couple of ex-students and one or two
have become a notch on the bedpost (regrettably), but they get too clingy
and start talking about futures together. I can't be dealing with that. I'm
not into no long courtship and singing up at someone's balcony. I guess
that's why I'm more into the 'sex-workers' and women of looser morals. I
like the thrill of no strings attached anonymous sex. |
| Q |
Don't you ever get worried about a
nice, respectable student seeing you out and about with one of your ladeeez
"Khun Ma, Khun Ma, there's my teacher" and you've got your tongue down some
brass's ear? |
| A |
This used to worry me a bit but what business is it of
theirs who and what I do in my spare time. Actually the problem never comes
up because I live in a suburb of Bangkok which is at least a 40-minute bus
ride from where I work, and if I do private students I make sure that none
of them live in the immediate neighborhood. Never shit on your own doorstep.
In my little part of Bangkok, you rarely see another foreigner and I'm
something of a celebrity. They recently opened a big Pizza Hut and I bedded
two of the waitresses in the first two weeks it was opened. I don't care
about those people seeing me out and about.
I'll tell you a funny thing though. One of the teachers at my old school was
'caught' playing computer games in a local internet cafe with a bunch of
kids. He got carpeted by the school management because they felt it wasn't
appropriate behavior for a teacher. I couldn't believe that. What business
is it of the school's what you get up to in your own free time? |
| Q |
Where are you favorite stomping grounds
if you fancy some female company, because teachers are taking notes? |
| A |
There's so much of it in my own neighborhood that I
don't ever contemplate hitting the usual sexpots like Sukhumwit or Silom. I
live in an apartment building that has a lot of lonely girls hahaha but they
have to be out by 3.00am. I can't stand getting up in the morning and taking
a shower and ironing a shirt with a pair of beady eyes watching me. |
| Q |
I bet you've always got some stories
for the teacher's room on a Monday morning. How many of them begin with
"Have you got a minute - let me tell you about last night"? |
| A |
I work with about six other teachers and they're all
male. Most of them live with Thai girls or have steady girlfriends. There's
only one guy that I really connect with. He likes a drink at lunchtime, so
if we're on the same schedule. he'll sometimes get me to check his breath
for traces of alcohol.
To be honest, I've always hated the whole teacher's room environment thing -
a bunch of teachers all sitting around moaning about school policies and why
they can't get their students to perform. Bores me to death. I'd rather go
out for a pint. Too many teachers take the job far too seriously. It's not
even as though learning English is a matter of life and death for most Thai
students. |
| Q |
Back to the beer. Is Kloster strictly
for lightweights? |
| A |
You don't see that about much now do you? I generally
stick to the 'imported' brews like Carlsberg and Heinney. The Thai beers are
way too strong for me. If I've had a night on the Singha, I wake up with the
most unbelievable headaches. I dread to think what they put in that stuff.
|
| Q |
Beer and women are cheaper in Vietnam
and Cambodia so I've heard. Have you checked these places out yet? |
| A |
I think you hear mixed reports and it's never a case of
everything being better than Thailand. In a place where the beer and women
are cheap it's usually offset by something like accommodation being
expensive or that you can't get an internet connection. I've been thinking
of doing a visa run to either of these places and checking things out but
I'm something of a lazyarse. |
| Q |
Er......dare I ask
about your teaching qualifications? |
| A |
I did actually do a TEFL course when I settled here in
the mid-90s. It was one of those cheap, four-day things but it got me a
certificate, and employers seem happy with it. I've got a top engineering
qualification as well but that ain't much use in a classroom. I'm always
honest with prospective employers. I'll say straight out that I haven't got
a degree, and they don't seem to mind. It goes without saying though that I
work very much at the bottom end of the market. There's always plenty of
room down there. I've got no illusions of grandness - I know I'm hardly
international school material. |
| Q |
Is it difficult to get
your act together for 9.00 job interviews? |
| A |
It's not difficult to get my act together but it can be
bloody difficult trying to find places. All these schools that pay about
25,000 baht and take on the likes of me, all seem to be in the back end of
beyond. You end up getting about three different buses and then you're still
nowhere near it. My record for turning up late for a job interview is 4
hours! |
| Q |
So you move around a
bit then? |
| A |
I've had quite a few jobs in the past six years yes.
But I can truly say that I've never walked out on a contract and dropped a
school in the shit. I hate to see teachers do that because you do have some
sort of responsibility to the students. The schools I don't care about -
they deserve what they get, but you do form a bond with your students. |
| Q |
The ajarn jobs board
must be a godsend? |
| A |
Hahahaha. It's like a religion Phil. Every day at about
5pm, I'm in the same old cafe checking the jobs board. The owner of the cafe
knows me very well and I always use the same computer. If I go in and
there's some kid playing games on it, the little bugger gets kicked off. No
messing. |
| Q |
What do you think
people reading this are really going to think? |
| A |
I hope they'll admire me for being
honest. You wanted something a little more honest for the interviews on your
site and I hope this one has filled the gap. I'm a chancer of the first
order. Thailand gives me the chance to teach and earn a living, and I'm
taking advantage of it. Simple as that. |
| Q |
So what about the
future? You can't live life indefinitely as though it's one big party.
People might start to get jealous. |
| A |
Well, things are certainly tightening
up, but there will always be places for teachers like me to find work. The
problem will come when it's no longer financially viable to earn 25,000 or
30,000 baht a month because all the money is eaten up by visa runs and a
rising cost of living. Perhaps 30,000 baht a month is the best I can ever
hope for but that doesn't mean I'll always be able to survive on it. |
| |
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