The following Wednesday

Once more I'm calling around after jobs advertised in the Bangkok Post. British American are claiming that if I'm serious about teaching then I shouldn't consider working for anyone else, and Siam Computer are promising new improved pay rates. The Christian school on soi 71 is looking for new teachers, as it does every month, and Adacac are looking for their fifth academic director in a fortnight. One school is looking for 'professional teachers - you need to be either male or female' I feel like calling them up and asking what other categories applicants might fall into, and another school promises 'loads of work for the right teacher'. I have a huge problem with the expression 'the right teacher' because it usually means a guy fresh off the boat who will happily teach a 50-hour schedule and not ask for advances.

I resign myself to staying at home with the bane of my life - the devious Noi. This girl shows me so much affection and all she asks in return is a roof over her head, the opportunity to play cards twice a week with the girl on the fourth floor, the freedom to spend hours chatting with the motorbike taxi drivers at the end of the soi, and 500 baht a day to put clothes on her back and bread on the table. Realising that I'm going to be under her feet all day, she retires to the balcony and rustles me up an omelette (the Thai equivalent of spam and chips) Is this what I get for my 500 baht?

In the evening I have an interview at the imaginatively named ' School of English Language ' on Thonglor soi 45/3. It's mid-way between 45/9 and 45/11 so you'll understand why it took me two hours to find the bloody place. Being 2 hours late and sweating profusely from both armpits didn't do much to endear me to the interviewer so to show his impatience and arrogance, he launched straight into a grammar test. 

"How would you teach adverbs of frequency?"

Ah, here was a double whammy - he wants to know about my teaching style and also if I know what an adverb of frequency is. I spend the next five minutes enlightening him as to the subtleties and how best to make students understand. But as often happens in these situations, I get too clever. I tell him that 'often' is an adverb of frequency but 'I often go to the movie theatre' could mean once a week, whereas 'I often go to the dentist' might convey the idea of twice a year, so it really depends on the situation. 

The interviewer thanks me for coming and says he'll be in touch. I have no doubt whatsoever that the moment my back was turned, he scribbled the word 'smartarse' across my resume and shoved it in the bin.