The following Tuesday

Chinese New Year - Student cancellations threw the whole day into turmoil.  It seems that my flock would rather stay at home and gorge themselves stupid than come to my English class and study the present perfect passive. Whichever way you look at it, I lost 4 periods of teaching. To make matters worse the director of studies says that we have to show compassion toward the students and not charge them for late cancellations on this special day. I just stood there a quivering wreck. But I have bills to pay - the laundry woman always has 800 baht off me on the 15th of every month. And then there's the phone bill. I'll get cut off If I don't pay within 3 days and it costs 2000 baht to be re-connected. What am I going to do?

I approach the director of studies and ask him if there's any chance of an advance on my salary - just 1000 baht will tide me over.

Asking for an advance is every teacher's nightmare. Not only because it tells the world that you are totally incapable of handling your finances but because of the humiliation of going through the 'getting an advance' procedure. It involves informing the one member of Thai staff that you particularly loathe, who will in turn make a huge play of asking exactly what it's for before she conveys the problem to every other member of staff including the cleaner and the bloke delivering the water. You just have to sit there at the reception counter in full view of students and student mothers while the receptionist from hell reaches behind her to take down a huge ledger into which she enters the total amount to be advanced. All that then remains is for her to check your passport, teacher identity card, work permit and to post your name on the teacher's notice-board on a sheet of A4 paper with the words 'ADVANCES FOR FEBRUARY' cunningly created with Microsoft Wordart.

In the afternoon, in my appalling pidgin Thai, I explain to the laundry woman about needing to show compassion toward the students who have had to cancel lessons so they can enjoy the new year festivities in the bosom of their family. She listens intently, occasionally shaking her head in mild sympathy, and when my sob story is complete and it is obvious that no money will be forthcoming, she stares at me and mutters 'arsehole'. Happy New Year love.