Next Monday 

Monday morning promises to be interesting – I’ve taken on a private course with Mrs Sakakaki, a Japanese housewife who lives in a high rise condo on Sukhumwit 33.  I’ll do one hour of conversation with her and then one hour with her eight-year old son Aoki . With him it will be basically anything I can get away with. I’ve slipped a cheap coloring book into my satchel as purely a precautionary measure. It may well be a case of ‘close the door little Aoki and let’s see how many of these animals we can color in – oh a blue kangaroo, you’re making wonderful progress’

I arrive at the condominium well before our scheduled 9’o’clock start, which gives the insecurity guard ample time to subject me to the closest of scrutiny. He regards me with a look of contempt that is usually adopted by people inspecting a particularly horrible carpet stain.

“ I’m here to see Mrs Sakakaki in apartment 53B”

“Are you an English teacher?” he asks with a sneer.

“Yes I am” I reply “Why the f*** else would I be here at 8.30 in the morning sodden with sweat and wearing a cheesy smile” I mutter the last sentence under my breath.

Mrs Sakakaki’s apartment is exactly what you’d expect to get if you were willing to shell out 80,000 baht a month on rent. It’s a veritable palace in the sky with numerous doors leading off  from the sumptuous main living room. No doubt they are doors that lead to fitted kitchens, master bedrooms, and en suite bathrooms. I find it hard to control my jealousy.

In the refreshments department, Mrs Sakakaki stretches to a glass of tepid water and a plate of nibbles each predictably wrapped in a thin coating of seaweed. As we spend a painful hour trying to ascertain which part of Japan she’s from and where her husband is now, little Aoki races around the room on a skateboard periodically crashing into my chair with a resounding thump. To which his mother berates him with the Japanese equivalent of “go and play in your bedroom my darling”

At the end of an hour, I’ve discovered that she originally hails from Tokyo, her husband is presently at the office, and her favorite place in Thailand is surprisingly, the Bridge over the River Kwai.  I’ve also discovered that her little Aoki should have been strangled at birth.

Today is something of a kid’s day for me – I have a class of five-year olds waiting for me back at the school in the afternoon. After 3 weeks spent coloring in animals, I decide to introduce them to the world of drama.