Thursday after

Today yet again, I get into another argument with the Thai staff. This time it’s over the distribution of board markers. One of the receptionists is in charge of making sure that no teacher exceeds their allowance of three new board markers per month. Woe betides the teacher who dares to ask for a fourth new board marker! His name shall be blackened in the grim recesses of the teacher’s room for all eternity. He shall be reminded that the items in question are 14 baht each from Makro and under no circumstances should they be used so generously. I blow my top and ask ‘marker pen girl’ why she isn’t as protective with her virginity as she is with the marker pens. After a moment’s silence, I go off to my lesson and marker pen girl retreats to the toilet to reapply her mascara.

 Later that day, I’m called into the director’s office. “Take a seat,” he says

“Where do you want me to take it?” I reply.

I can see he’s in no mood for jokes. “Jim, the Thai staff are frightened of you”

“Oh come on, they know what I’m like. I don’t really mean it”

“Jim, the one receptionist is still in the toilet. She refuses to come out. What’s her name? You know – the one that’s in charge of the board markers”

“That was just something out of nothing”

“ Jim, you’re a fine teacher. You’re one of the best we’ve got. You’re a professional and we’re happy to have you on board”

At this stage, my heart is almost bleeding. Someone get me the silver goblet.

I’m in no mood for this shit.

“The Thai staff just can’t do their job properly. They forget to take messages, they screw up my pay and what’s more – what is a teacher supposed to write with?”

The director looks at me and flashes a half-smile.

“Just try to be a little more culturally sensitive, that’s all I ask”

 I leave his office. I don’t need any of this. Perhaps it’s time for a change of direction? But can I really see myself handing out leaflets in Siam Square while wearing a huge dinner-plate size badge that says quite simply ‘I love Herbalife’ and putting up with people calling me a prat. Or calling up Australians at 4.00 in the morning Bangkok time and telling them that I’m about to offer them the financial opportunity of a lifetime. No, that’s definitely not me.